Okay, so yesterday I think I may have binged, but it's hard to tell. I did put on a couple of lbs. Let's review what I had:
1/2 grapefruit for breakfast
1 Apple and 1 nectarine for lunch
6 oz Chicken w cucumber & tomatoes
Okay I also had 3 bloody marys with pickles, but come on!!
I was down to 194 yesterday and up to 197 today. I am really worried that I have slowed my metabolism.
The rest of the weekend I need to work hard to stick to the diet exactly, but it's so hard. I'm hungry. I have a headache (probably from the bloody mary's) I'm feeling a little nauseous. A large salad with some avocado, blue cheese, walnuts and olive oil would be so awesome right now, or some eggs and fried potatoes, or some . . . STOP!
For now I'm chalking this up to junk food withdrawals and the fact that I had vodka last night. I need to re-adjust and think about WHY I'm doing this in the first place.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Day Whatever
I have to stop trying to count the days like I'm going to be so diligent as to not miss a single day. That's just not what my life is like. So, now I have the task of coming of with clever titles for these things.
Last night I totally pigged out. I ate a whole grapefruit for breakfast. I was cooking for two for dinner and I didn't even weigh the cauliflower or shrimp. I ate a whole bowl full. And, I had two nectarines while my husband and I watched the Dilemma.
The awesome thing about last night is that my husband loved his fat free food! I wouldn't let him eat popcorn or anything "good" last night. He had to eat nectarines with me. I was pretty firm. If I was a crack addict, would he smoke crack in front of me? Of course not!! I know I've said this before, but it's much clearer to me now: I am one piece of cheese away from a total relapse. He did tell my his stomach was burning with hunger before he went to bed. I have little sympathy.
Yesterday was very difficult with regard to how I felt physically. There was no question that my body was going through withdrawals. I've been through it before with smoking. I can't tolerate anyone eating junk food around me. The other day I walked into my bosses office to find him munching on a bag of chips. "On a diet?" I say. Wow. How unbelievably rude. But, that's how us recovering junkies are. It's like when people quit smoking and someone lights up in front of them. The first thing they'll tell you is that they were able to quit (insinuating what a weak piece of crap the other person is for not have the willpower to do so), then they will probably fan their face and say something like, "I forgot how much smoking stinks." What they are really thinking is, "I really want a cigarette bad, and I'm about to tackle this guy and steel his cigarettes." That's how I felt. I wanted to grab that bag of chips and run out of my bosses office cramming chips into my mouth.
Last night I totally pigged out. I ate a whole grapefruit for breakfast. I was cooking for two for dinner and I didn't even weigh the cauliflower or shrimp. I ate a whole bowl full. And, I had two nectarines while my husband and I watched the Dilemma.
The awesome thing about last night is that my husband loved his fat free food! I wouldn't let him eat popcorn or anything "good" last night. He had to eat nectarines with me. I was pretty firm. If I was a crack addict, would he smoke crack in front of me? Of course not!! I know I've said this before, but it's much clearer to me now: I am one piece of cheese away from a total relapse. He did tell my his stomach was burning with hunger before he went to bed. I have little sympathy.
Yesterday was very difficult with regard to how I felt physically. There was no question that my body was going through withdrawals. I've been through it before with smoking. I can't tolerate anyone eating junk food around me. The other day I walked into my bosses office to find him munching on a bag of chips. "On a diet?" I say. Wow. How unbelievably rude. But, that's how us recovering junkies are. It's like when people quit smoking and someone lights up in front of them. The first thing they'll tell you is that they were able to quit (insinuating what a weak piece of crap the other person is for not have the willpower to do so), then they will probably fan their face and say something like, "I forgot how much smoking stinks." What they are really thinking is, "I really want a cigarette bad, and I'm about to tackle this guy and steel his cigarettes." That's how I felt. I wanted to grab that bag of chips and run out of my bosses office cramming chips into my mouth.
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